Right where I wanna be …
I have been horribly sick. It came on Thursday of last week. Fever, cough, stuffed up head, sinuses killing me, throwing up, you name it. Finally yesterday I was feeling a bit more like myself and actually got back to working out.
Tonight, M (he, who works out with me at the gym) came over, and we worked out in the basement. Clint has been put on his permanent shift now, and no longer has straight days, so he’s now on swing shift, doing 12 hour shifts. Right now he’s on midnights which is 6 pm to 6 am. So, that means, no gym time for me. I leave work at 4:30 pm and get home at 5 pm. He has to leave at 5:15 pm. So I’m with the girls, of course, all night, with no chance for gym. Luckily M came over tonight, and we did weights - tri’s and chest. After he left, I did a mile on Lippy.
Tomorrow is weigh in, so we’ll see how this week panned out…being sick and all, I’m not getting my hopes up at all.
I’ve had an epiphany. Stand back. I have come to understand my challenges. Right now there are so many that are on me, I could give up so easily. I was sick for 4 days, Clint’s schedule is now going to be constantly changing which doesn’t give me a set schedule for workouts, and comments. Oh lovely comments. But the little guy in my head has been surprisingly friendly to me, and I haven’t been talking down to myself and sabotaging what I’m accomplishing right now. It could be so easy to make excuses and stop at this point. Uh uh.
The actual comment I’m referring to wasn’t ‘about’ me and yet it’s made a huge impact and snapped me back to reality. I was sitting at my desk in the office last week. One of our male employees came in and was talking to us and as part of the conversation he slipped in that he is a 6 foot tall, 280 lb. man. He’s a big man. Thing is, I’m ONLY about 15 lbs. less than him. It freaked me out completely at that moment, and I truly don’t think I said another word during the whole conversation.
Even though I despise my body, and I know what I look like, I still don’t feel as big as I really am. I’m a strong girl in pretty darn good shape. I may be overweight, but when I see other people that are overweight, they are out of breath after walking the parking lot up to the store, or struggling while taking steps. That’s just not me. And I think that leads me to believe (in my own twisted mind) that I’m healthy and am fine how I am…all the while, knowing in the back of my head that it has to change.
So this was my very chatty way of letting you know I’m doing just fine. I’ll post weigh-in tomorrow.
I’m working on getting all of my recipes back up…hopefully by the weekend I’ll have that done :)
Oh…one more thing, then I’ll shut up, I swear. If you have been reading here awhile, you know I’m a gadget girl. I love anything electronic / gadgety…I picked this up last weekend:
She tracks steps, calories burned (you input your weight), miles, and is a clock. It also has a really cool feature…when you are wearing it on your pants, you flip up the face, and the numbers flip upside down so that you can read the readout on it the right way. It’s so cool.
on March 7th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Hey Gadgetgirl :))
I can see that you’re doing ok again. I’m feeling better too, but have not yet started working out again (tstststs) It’s an interesting theory you have there about overweight people, sometimes i think like that too. I know i’m heavy and curvy and all but i’m still in a good shape so that cheers me up a little :) Although deep down i really wish to change things. Hang in there my girl xxx