The day has finally come…Clint’s colonoscopy is tomorrow. This post may seem a little negative, but I truly just need to get all of these thoughts out of my head…once they are here, it’s usually a little less on my mind.
I’m full of all of so many emotions, that I can’t distinquish which one is prevailing at this point. Anger? Scared shitless?? Hopeful?? Who knows.
I have the minimal faith that the hospital that did the CT scan last month has screwed up once again and is saying cancer to yet another patient, when there is nothing there…for this hospital, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m praying that they wrote ‘colon cancer’ on Clint’s chart by accident and it was really meant for someone else that has been an unbelieveably horrible person and deserves such a hellish diagnosis a million times more than my husband does.
But, I do have the utmost faith in God himself, who will, no matter what the outcome of tomorrow, will pull us through everything that is possibly about to be thrown at us, or bless us in the most beautiful way and bring my husband through this procedure with a clean bill of health.
One last plea to each of you to please send prayers and postive thoughts for my dear man. After the initial shock of the first diagnosis, we have done everything we could this past month to keep a positive happy face. We have avoided the topic. Today I think it’s getting to both of us. Clint mentioned to me earlier that no matter what kind of news we get tomorrow, we need to come home, put on our happy faces one more time and get Abbie’s homework and reading out of the way before we discuss anything with the girls.
PLEASE pray for us that we do not have to give our daughters ANY kind of devasating news…PLEASE pray to God that we will NOT have to imagine our lives without daddy…PLEASE pray that all of this worry was for nothing and that God has answered our prayers and Clint is as healthy as ever.
PLEASE just pray.