Less Lisa

Hmmm…another weird week, moody ups and downs, and a huge gain on the scale in one day, then a loss of it all, and then today? I’m down an additional pound from last week putting me at 252.5 I WILL get out of the 250’s by Monday. I’m fighting for this one.

I finally sat with Clint the other night and talked to him about how I’m feeling (this is the same night we talked about me having surgery)…he now realizes how desperate I truly feel. He is my partner in this now. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been completely supportive, but in more of a ‘do what you gotta do’ kinda thing…when I told him I didn’t think I would qualify for surgery, he goes, ‘Well, then we’re gonna do this MY way ’…He is being completely amazing. ‘His Way’ means outside time every night working in the flower beds and garden, and staying as active as he is during the summer…he’s a maniac, I swear, but he’s thin, so he’s doing something right! The more I read and research more on PCOS the better low-carb is for my symptoms. So I’m doing that with my own ’spin’. I’m not ‘counting’ points, but I know in my head how much things are, and I’m making the right choices. I’m eating more meats / protein (chicken and fish more right now) and making sure I have fruits and veggies for my snacks. High carb / processed food is off limits at this point. We are also working on lowering Abbie’s sugar intake as she’s been a hyper woman lately, so that helps me as well when those things aren’t in the house.

I know that when you follow low-carb (the Atkins-strict way, at least) that when you begin to eat normally, the weight comes back fast. What I understand right now (and will talk to my doctor more about it all on Friday as I have made a list of questions and problems I’m having) is that when I do get down to my healthy weight, my body should actually start to produce insulin more normally and be able to handle normal foods, because right now it can’t. If I eat any kind of potato (fries, mashed, baked, etc.) I feel SO friggin bloated immediately and just sick to my stomach from it. I can’t handle those kinds of foods at all.

So, I’m doing this my way, at least until I get the Dr.’s advice (along with a prescription for a healthy dose of Glucophage) and see how it goes. I do feel much better mentally now the some stress from work has gone down, and that I have gotten through to Clint how crucial this is for me. The other day when I posted, I truly felt the lowest I have in a very long time, possibly ever. That is the worst feeling.

I have also been reading lately on some new news on PCOS that Bi-Polar disorder is also known to affect PCOS sufferers as well, and I never have read up on the symptoms, and after looking into that as well, it seems some of my ‘emotional’ things lately are either pointing to that or back to depression, which was previously diagnosed about 9 years ago or so. I never stayed on meds for it as they didn’t help and I didn’t like the ‘drugged up’ feeling…I’m just not a big meds person at all as you can tell, but the Glucophage I am willing to give it every chance for as long as it takes to see the results. The bipolar/depression will be mentioned to my dr. as well on Friday.

All-in-all things are looking up. I’m really not this ‘down’ of a person…and lately it sounds that way here. Surgery is more than likely out of the question (gastric bypass) as right now I don’t think my BMI or weight would qualify me, and I would hate to have to go to that extreme, but we will just wait and see what the dr. has to say on Friday and if he even suggests it.

Thank you for all of your comments lately…you all help me get through so much and I appreciate that so much from you all…you’re the best!!!