Who am I?
Have you ever watched WE (Women’s Entertainment) channel on TV??? I was watching it the other day and saw a preview for a show called ‘Secret Lives of Women’. There are several topics this show covers but this one in particular was on eating disorders. So I DVR’d (like TiV0) it so I could watch it later on.
One woman was an overeater. Would order enough food for 5 people from a fast food drive through and eat it all herself in her car while washing it down with a Diet Coke.
Another lady was Anorexic. She has really low self-esteem, you could tell, and her husband was a jerk, but that’s beside the point. If she didn’t feel she did something well enough that day, she would punish herself by only allowing herself a glass of water for lunch.
The last lady was what they call an exercise bulemic. She would binge and then exercise for 3-4 hours a day just to burn off what she binged on.
What struck me when I watched this show, that I never thought I would realize, is that I had something in common with every single one of the women. No, I don’t order through the drive through in extremes, in fact I haven’t had fast food in so long that I couldn’t even tell you the last time I got something. But there were other things about this woman (who has lost a ton of weight now, btw) that were so me. Even the anorexic lady. I could sense her low self-esteem and know EXACTLY how she felt. I go to extremes as she had, but for some reason I still have the weight. The exercise bulemic was alot like myself also in the way that she CONSTANTLY thought about the calories she was taking in. Every bite. Every glance at food, she knew the calories in it and how long she would have to work out to burn it off if she ate it. These three women were all so different from the next in so many ways, but it all felt like me. Me in the fat suit, me the boney skinny woman I know is in here somewhere, and me the exercise-aholic that can’t get my mind off food and calories.
It has seemed to consume me as of late.
I did work out yesterday unlike I had in a very long time. I did 16 minutes on Lippy, and then 16 minutes of various cardio and weights. For those 16 minutes I did 1 minutes of jump rope, 5 minutes of crunches on my exercise ball and 3 arm exercises with my 3 lb. weighted balls while on my ball, and then 10 minute The Biggest Loser workout that is in the new book.
I bought the book (The Biggest Loser diet/exercise thing (that’s not the actual title, just don’t have it in front of me)), by the way. Love. It. It’s got awesome tips, exercise and food ideas, a great workout to follow and some great recipes. It’s amazing!!
Well, I am working from home today, so I need to get some more finished, and then work out again…
Oh one last note. I’m done with coffee. Holy Moses. I got SO friggin dehydrated after about 2 weeks of drinking it…of course I had lowered my water intake because I was drinking coffee more, so I’m sure that didn’t help, but I have gone back to water. Water. WATER.
I didn’t know you got the book too! I love the book! I read it all cover to cover by the 2nd day LOL! Did you watch the BL special last week? Awesome! Are you still working out with the DVD? I just started again today… I’m doing the 6 week challenge (read about it on my site… wanna join me?) I hope I don’t hurt too bad tomorrow ROFL!
Have a great week HUGS!!!!!!!!!1
Hey you!! I SO can relate to food/calories/diet/exercise ALWAYS being on your mind :-/ It’s not healthy for us though … I always am trying to remember that God should be occupying those spaces in our minds that we let food occupy. Eating disorders are so terrible As long as we let God thoughts replace food thoughts, a lot’ll change … we’ll still want to exercise and stuff, but I know for me, it’s helped my self-confidence like WOAH … hehe Just knowing that through God’s eyes my body’s perfect … easier said than done though, I know. Anyway, I love you to pieces, and I’m praying for you … and your relationship with God … and seriously, reading that post made me miss you SO MUCH! I can just HEAR you saying “Love. It.” haha Love. YOU!