What’s going on?
Before I get to the main post, I have to say thank you for all the great comments on the pictures and for the Happy Birthday wishes that were sent…you all are awesome!!!!
I hate when I post an entry such as this…but I feel so ‘blah’…it’s just the usual stuff while trying to lose weight…I haven’t lost nearly enough, it’s not coming off fast enough…you know the routine…
I seem to have become addicted to exercising…so there’s a plus, huh? It’s been twice a day now for awhile…so maybe there’s the old ‘it’s muscle’ kinda reason…I just wish it would show in the numbers…I need to have Clint hide my scale and only remove it from it’s hiding spot once a week, or once every other week…I depend on that scale too much, and I seem to be letting that scale dictate who I am…when it’s up (even 1/2 lb.) I seem to have less self-confidence, feel like everyone is staring at me in a negative way, again, I’m sure you all have felt the same way…but when it shows a loss, I feel on top of the world…almost to the point where I get careless with my point counting, or ease up on my exercise…why in the world would I do that? Could I seriously be sabotaging myself and not knowing it? I don’t think I am, but why would I blow it when something that I’m doing is really working?
When I went shopping about a month ago with my cousin, by the end of the night I realized I don’t like anything about myself. It was insane. I mean physically about myself…I like ‘me’ but just not the ‘outer’ me…That night it seemed redundant that everything that came out of my mouth was, I HATE that about me…I HATE that right there (referring to a part of my body at that moment)…
I want this more than anything, but right now I think that reaching goal is seeming so unattainable that I’m losing perspective on why I’m even doing this…I don’t want this to come across as ‘poor whiny me’…I am in a slump right now and need to talk myself out of it I think…Depression always seems just *this* close to coming back and it’s a constant battle to not let it take over…and I think right now that also is playing a part in my emotions…guess I really am feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything, and really not sure how to deal with it all at once??? Sorry guys…
Hmm…usually by the time I get done posting here, I feel a bit better…not tonight…off to Lippy
AHHHHHHH I MISSED SOMEBODY’S BIRTHDAY!!! AHHHH… I’m sooooo sorry!!! HUGS!!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY? *sniffles*
Aww, girl we are SO on the same page. As women, we naturally let the scale dictate who we are - what we see in ourselves. We’re told by media that we aren’t beautiful if we aren’t a size 2 (which is why I just LOVE the new Dove commercials - had to throw that in there) so we diet as hard as we can, striving for a perfection we will never be able to attain. We look at the scale and see that our numbers are larger than we’d like, our clothes are bigger than we’d like, and we don’t have nearly as perfect faces, skin cells, hair… We can’t just be happy with ourselves. Media has done this to us, we have done this to us.
Instead of standing in front of the mirror picking out what you hate about yourself, try concentrating on what you LOVE. Or, since you’ve had such a GREAT success so far with your loss, someone gave me the idea of taping up a before picture on the mirror so you can see the improvements each time you look at yourself. Lisa, I’ve seen your pictures and I think you’re beautiful! I know that’s not any consolation (oh girl do I know that), but you are. You have a lot you can be happy about (esp your legs ~ I’m so jealous).
I hope the blah mood passes for you and the scale limbos a little lower soon so you can get that 2nd wind, that sudden surge of "I’M BEAUTIFUL!" that we all get when the scale’s being nice to us. It sucks that those numbers are so important to us… but as women, they are always going to be.
You are an incredible person, inside and out. I’ve known you for only about 3 months now and you’ve already impacted my life in such a positive way! You inspired me to get my butt of the couch, stop moaning (well, sometimes I still moan…), and you motivated me to start dieting. Not only that, but you just did the most incredible, nicest thing for my neighbor! I adore you and it saddens me to see you so unhappy with yourself right now. I’m sending you tons of virtual hugs!!
Okay, and just for you: The Perfect Boiled Egg
Put eggs in pot. Fill with cold water to just the top of the egg. Bring to a rolling boil on the stove and boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and cover pot. Let eggs sit in hot water for 12 minutes. Drain pot and with a heavy spoon, crack each egg on the bottom (largest part) to release the sulfer, which helps in the green color on the yolk and the smell. Fill pot with cold water and let eggs sit for 30 minutes. When you peel, remember to always start on the largest part
That’s what someone told me it and it was PERFECT! HUGGGS!!
Maybe it’s time to put away the scale for a whole month! Couldn’t hurt, right?
I know we all go thru it, and based on your email I know you have an idea on what got you feeling that way. I just want you to start reminding yourself EACH DAY what a beautiful young woman you are…YOU ARE YA KNOW…I have seen the pictures!! We are always soo much more critical of ourselves…losing the weight won’t change your self perception either it has to come from deep within. Heck I am 16 lbs from my goal and I still struggle with it almost daily…its been my struggle since I was a kid.
I am here for you always!
First of all….
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! Inside and OUT!! Yes you are!! Don’t argue with us who know better.
Second of all….
Girl… PUT THE SCALE AWAY!! You let that thing rule you so put it away or have Clint hide it. I know you’ve heard the expression of ‘a watched pot never boils’… You have to think of your weight loss in those terms sometimes, I think. You are watching everyday waiting for a change. The change IS happening daily but a lot of times you just can’t see it by the silly number on the scale. THINK OF YOUR COLLARBONE!!!!!!!!!!! hehehe
Your goals ARE attainable Lisa. I’ve seen you do this and I KNOW you can. You are an inspiration to me and so many others sweetie.
I really DO want to see you ditch the scale. I think if you just followed plan and didn’t step on the scale for 2 weeks or MORE… you will have the surprise of your life when you do finally step on there again.
I love ya… and I hate knowing that you are feeling this way. I would love to be there with you in person with us working on this together. It would be so fun!