Remember the days of me being here EVERYDAY and posting faithfully???? heh heh heh

I have been kicking some serious BOO-TAY on the activity front…I am ALWAYS doing SOMETHING…I have been walking at LEAST 10 miles per week (usually 2 miles each time)…plus doing weights at night after Meggie’s in bed…plus the whole ‘Have - to - move - fast - and - constant - keeping - the - house - spotless - thing’…hahah…so I have had PLENTY of Activity…just never count/use the points from it…

Here’s the problem…even though I’m doing all this moving, and I’m doing pretty good on my eating…I’m not seeing the scale move OR my measurements change…what’s up with that?!?!?!? This is usually where I start thinking ‘It’s not helping’ and I start slacking…surprisingly enough this time, I’m not doing that…I’m gung-ho and want to keep moving (even though my body yells at me to STOP sometimes)…AND, before this week, I admit, I was lacking in the water-drinking department, now I’m kicking butt on that, thanks to a little *challenge* I’m in…but my scale is seriously fluctuating up to 3 lbs. in one day!!!!!! It’s unreal!!! One day I will be down like 3 lbs. and the next morning 2 more are back…sometimes all 3 are back!!!! what the fudge?????? I’m kinda ticked…and not sure what’s causing it other than the possibility of water weight to have that much fluctuation…any thoughts on this????

Can’t wait for the government check to come…ours is the one that gets sent out in the 2nd batch which is this Friday…but wouldn’t you know it, Clint’s truck needs worked on…never fails, there’s always SOMETHING that needs done when extra $$$ comes around, but you know what…in the same breath, it IS always there when it’s needed

I think that’s it on my end…still plugging along!!!

LATER ~ Didn’t do weights tonight…I’ve been non-stop since I got home from work…but I did get 128 oz. of water in today and did my 2.5 miles walking…not too shabby

Man…I can’t seem to eat enough today!! So of COURSE I’m over points for the first time in over a week…I’m beginning to wonder if it is my metabolism picking up since I have been exercising/walking so much…anyone experience this?? I might actually HAVE a metabolism, aye?!?!? *grin*

Got this in an e-mail today and it’s just a little something that made me go ‘hmmmm’

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Luke 12-23

Kind of ironic, aye??? That about sums up my day

I apologize once again for the delay between posts. Nothing really to give as an excuse…basically I have just been avoiding the computer (only because I have to SIT STILL to be here…LOL)

I am PROUD to say that I am SERIOUSLY back on the ball, and doing AWESOME. At 9:00 a.m. this morning, I was at work, and figured, I want to walk before it rains AGAIN, so off I went Spent about 35 minutes and did 2 miles I got a new CD walk-man thing with these awesome headphones that just hook to your ears, and let me tell you, what a DIFFERENCE it made while I was walking…that music kept me PUMPED and I did my 2 miles before I even realized it…the awesome thing was, at the end of the 2 miles, I realized I did it without getting horribly out of breath (I wasn’t able to sing, but I wasn’t gasping for air) and I wasn’t SORE!!! My poor body is FINALLY getting used to HAVING to move…LOL…It was such an awesome feeling that I seriously had CHILLS.

On the homefront, I have become *movement-addicted*…I can’t seem to sit still…yesterday I had intended to go into our room, grab a couple of small piles of laundry that I had sorted and take them to the laundry room and get laundry going. Well, I did that, but after picking up the clothes, I started to clean my bedroom, which, BTW, is the MOST neglected room in my house…I’m in there for a shower and sleep pretty much and it was a mess…I ended up vacuuming EVERYTHING, cleaning the windows, dusting, Windex-ing anything shiny…LOL…Clint came in after working outside and I heard him in the kitchen go ‘It smells GOOD’ in here..ROFL…poor thing…doesn’t even know what a CLEAN house should smell like…ROFL…anyways, he comes into the bedroom and goes ‘Are you PREGNANT?!?!?’ ROFL…after the SHOCK of thinking ‘am I???” wore off, I laughed and realized that I don’t think our room had been that clean since we moved in 3 years ago…(kidding of course, but it’s been awhile)

He followed me through the house while I put the kids clothes away, and we started talking and he asked me what’s up with me always on the move and cleaning and all…I told him it seriously keeps me from eating! I LOVE moving and doing and busy stuff…things always seem so much more positive when things are clean and done and no worries…it’s amazing…

Then I JUST got awesome word from our mortgage company that we are able to refinance!!!!! I’m SOOOOO STOKED about this. We have been busting butt trying to get our credit cleaned up and bills paid off, and it’s working…what an AWESOME feeling!!!! I’m SOOOO excited

I’m telling you, between Meggie’s health and tests all being completely normal, and things looking up financially for us, I am thanking God everyday…I’ve been a praying FOOL and boy is God good to us!!!

Wow…being back OP and working out is AMAZING!!!! I wish I would have never lost this feeling to begin with. It hit me last night, do you realize that I could be SOOO close to goal right now if I would have stuck with this????? *SMACK* What on EARTH was I thinking?? LOL…oh well…I’m back now and doing awesome

Today is my 4th day being completely OP, and my 4th day of working out I can’t for the life of me figure out WHY I don’t stick with this, because I feel so stinkin’ awesome!!!! I’m so much happier, more positive, more ME!!! I love this!!! So…here’s my rundown in activity for the past couple of days, and I can tell you a little ’sneak-peek’ for this coming Sunday…drum roll please…the scale is ALREADY down a FEW lbs. in just these last 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7.15.03 ~ 17:40 min. ~ treadmill @ 4 mph = 1 mile
12:00 min. ~ weights (set of 10-6-6 incline bench press ~ 45 lbs., sets of 15-15-15 leg extensions ~ 50 lbs.)
7:00 min. ~ 120 crunches

Total Time ~ 36.40 minutes!!!!

7.16.03 ~ I did 1/2 mile on the treadmill tonight - 9 minutes
80 crunches (180 total for the week so far) - 6 minutes
30 leg extensions @ 50 lbs.

This is supposed to be my *off* night, so I didn’t do alot, but I still did SOMETHING

7.17.03 ~ I went to the park across the street from where I work and walked 1-1/2 miles

7.18.03 ~ Walked 2 miles at the track. Will do weights and crunches after work!!

I can’t even begin to express how much better I feel about myself ALREADY…it must be the exercise…the endorphines or whatever…LOL…All I know, is I’m going to do my darndest to STICK THIS OUT UNTIL I REACH THE END!!!!!! I request a womp in the nugget, a kick in the rear, whatever it will take, from you all if you see me tending to drift off in la-la land again

Wow, haven’t done any participation in a LONG time…so here’s today WIW

Has your weight or your health held you back from anything? This is interesting…I don’t actually blame my WEIGHT for holding me back…I blame ME for LETTING my weight hold me back. I have missed out on ALOT in the past 8-10 years for sure because I am so self-concious about my weight. I have come up with excuses after excuses not to go out with friends, not to go anywhere basically, and all because I’m scared to death to run into someone that I haven’t seen in a few years. Even though I actually look BETTER than I did a few months ago, to them, I will actually look WORSE than the last time I saw them…so I avoid that situation if at all possible. I did, however, receive an amazing e-mail last week from an amazing person, and it has really helped me see what is really important…I hope *twin* doesn’t mind me sharing this here, but I’m sure it can put into perspective ALOT for others too…I know it keeps smacking me in the face everytime I start feeling a bit down…

So that you understand the meaning of her message, she was in a bad car accident on Easter of this year….

~After the accident you kind of look at everything differently. Bills are just
bills, money is just that-only money. J and I both had a hard time. He still
worries everytime I go anywhere, or am gone longer then he thinks
I would be. I know you hear people say after some near death event, live
every day to it’s fullest, well it’s true. Do you think that bills, money,
my dress size, etc, matters when we are gone. You know that answer to that
one. Just be happy, surround yourself with family and friends you love. If
you aren’t happy with something change it. If there are people around you
who are dragging you down, drop them. You only live once…~

So, even though my weight has held me back in the past, it won’t any longer!!!

And in full swing ahead!!!! I had an AWESOME day yesterday….stuck with good eating, not enough water, but alot….and I WORKED OUT!!!! I feel so good this morning! I had just over 36 minutes of solid exercise last night…doesn’t sound like much when I read others that work out over an hour a day, but for me that is awesome…I did a 17 minute mile on the treadmill @ 4 mph, I did 12 minutes of free weights, and 120 crunches (legs bent, legs straight, legs to left and legs to right)…it gives me that ‘good about me’ feeling, and it makes me WANT to be OP again

I did have a maintain this past Sunday. I’m really sorry for the few and far between posts lately…I’m just always off and doing something it seems, and don’t take the time to sit here and update or post…I need to at least do that much a few times a week.

I’m also debating going back to WW meetings again. I have been doing it here on my own, and I seem to get it in my head that if I don’t lose this week, I will next week. And that thinking just continues and it’s keeping me at a stand-still with my losses. I know that when I have to PAY to do this, and that OTHERS will see my weight and how I did the past week, that my butt will get into gear and do this! So…I do believe that this next Tuesday morning, I will be re-joining AGAIN. LOL

We got WONDERFUL news on Megan. The *official* results were back yesterday and her EEG was completely NORMAL!!! Not a thing wrong…so she just needs to outgrow the episodes that she is having…kind of a hard answer to swallow when it’s your child doing this, but she’s been to a very good expert on this, and seems that’s what needs to happen now. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF*

Click on the rose, below, to see some new pictures we just had done of the girls this past weekend ~

Well, I do believe that is it for me!

Sorry for my site being down for a few days…my site was switched to a new server, and it took longer than I thought it would to get back up and running, but all is fine now

Well, here’s a not-so-great update on me, which has a good ending though, in a way…

Well, I weighed in today, at 252. That is actually up one lb. from last week, but I’m also having my monthly visitor, so I’m not worrying too much about that number…We had my family reunion yesterday…it was alot of fun to be with everyone again…we need to do that more often, I miss my family sometimes. All of us ‘youngins’ went out afterwards to a couple of clubs here in town, and I had a few to drink and a couple shots to top it off…I’m not one to go out and dance unless I’m so stupid drunk that I don’t care. This is not to say that I can’t have fun without being drunk…cuz that’s SO not the case, but with dancing in a crowd, it seems to help me loosen up a bit…even though they literally DRUG me up on the dance floor…HAHAH…anyways, I have been at a stall in my weight loss, and not really feeling that strong hatred for myself that actually got this whole ball rolling…I was getting more comfortable and positive about myself when I had lost the first 50 lbs. and lost that feeling that was to keep me motivated. Well, last night I found that hatred again. I was fine early on in the night and having a ball…then as I stood there with my husband behind me in this club, we were talking with my cousin (a male)…we were chatting, and I started becoming VERY conciously aware of all the skinniness that was showing itself all around me. I thought I had beat this feeling, and was becoming stronger in how I felt about myself, but this night proved otherwise. Once that uncomfortable ‘I’m the biggest person here’ feeling came over me, my night was over. Then while talking with my cousin, he noticed a larger girl out on the dance floor and she was having a ball, dancing, having a good old time…well, while I’m admiring her confidence in herself, and wishing I could be the same way, he blurts out ‘NOBODY that is 200 lbs. should be out on that floor…’ BAM my night became even worse…

Although I am 6 foot tall and may not LOOK like I weigh what I do, this KILLED me…here I am at 250, and he’s one of the ones trying to get me out on the dance floor, while all the while this is what is going through the back of his head??? NO big girls should be up there?!?!?!? So, of course, I begin to think about things a bit too much and wonder how many OTHER people are thinking the same nasty thing about me when *I* was up there?!??…needless to say, we ended up leaving before any of the 12 others that were all out with us. SUCKS.

The good part of all of this, (there ALWAYS has to be a positive to everything, right?!?!) is that I have now gotten that MOTIVATION back. I want this weight loss more than you can possibly imagine (well, most of you probably can)…and I’m going to do it…Maybe I do need to go out more and be in that atmosphere and keep my butt in check…I think that when I sit at home, and I’m not around alot of people, I lose sight of what I’m working towards…to see those skinny things around all the time, really does keep me focused.

So, get ready to see some number droppings again, and I am going to start a new weight loss chart on my main site, and archive the one up now…it’s getting pretty long and harder to read, so I’m going to start fresh with a new one…hopefully tomorrow I can get to that, I have alot of work to do tonight. I hope you all had a wonderful 4th